Presumed Guilty

Where, in 21st century Britain, and contrary to legal custom, are you presumed to be guilty of a crime until you prove yourself innocent?

And where can the authorities threaten to search your home or property, without any evidence of a crime being committed?

The answer to both these questions is the same: if you don’t have a TV licence. This is sufficient to create suspicion of criminality. After all, anyone who doesn’t have a TV must be mad, and it wouldn’t be right to accuse them of that; so they must be criminals.

Well, actually, some people don’t have a TV. We don’t have one at the Flat because we don’t live there all the time. Others have just made the choice on the grounds that they want to be free from the intrusion and the mind-destroying pap that the rest of us are addicted to. But TV Licensing won’t believe you, even if you take the trouble to tell them you haven’t got a set. What you will get is a letter from them, telling you in effect that you must be mistaken or lying, and offering to come and search your home anyway, to make sure. In the old days, a gentleman accused of lying would be likely to challenge his accuser to a duel. But sadly none of us today is reckoned to be a gentleman.

I’ve just had another run-in with TV Licensing, this time about the church hall, where we also don’t have or watch a TV set. Their latest letter is couched in unbelievably rude, aggressive and threatening terms. Example:

Despite our previous letters, we still have no record of a TV Licence at your business address. We’ve urged you to contact us to resolve the situation. You have not responded. Our Enforcement Division has therefore prioritised your address for a visit.

It continues in similar, even more threatening, tones.

Well, yes. The reason I haven’t responded to their previous letters is, that when you fill in the form on the back saying you don’t have a TV, and put it in the envelope they provide, you read there next to the address: YOU NEED TO USE A STAMP.

No, I bloody don’t need to use a stamp. If you want me to help you to update and correct your records, you can do me the courtesy of providing a reply-paid envelope for the purpose. Unless you do that, your letters will continue to get binned.

Does anyone else agree that these people need to be told where to get off? If they were a business, they wouldn’t get far talking to their customers like this. But these are supposed (I suppose) to be public servants. In 21st century Britain, this means they can talk to you as if you were something nasty on the sole of their shoe.